Month: February 2016

Music and Lyrics: Overlooked Gem of the Week

Music and lyrics came out in 2007 starring one of the greatest Rom Com actors of all time in Hugh Grant and the free spirited party child Drew Barrymore who’s been in everything E.T. to Scream to Charlie’s Angels and the Sandler movies including one of his best  50 First Dates. She also does the cutest side mouth thing when she talks.drew

Oh, and 90’s Drew was throwing some serious heat

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Back to the movie , its about a has been 80’s pop group Pop modeled after the real life duo Wham! Fast Forward 20 years and he’s now performing high school reunions , state fairs.

He has a nice apartment on the Upper East Side along with a healthy love of potted plants that need watering. So with his work schedule busy he hires someone to water his plants and in walks Drew Barrymore being clumsy and adorable as usual.  Hugh has been struggling to still book the same amount of gigs as in years past so when a huge pop star happens to come across one of his old records and loves it , he has a chance to get reintroduced to the new generation. The catch is he has less than 48 hours to write a song and deliver it to her before she leaves the city.

His agent hooks him up with a popular industry songwriter  and he comes over to work on the song. Then in walks in Drew again and she starts to go about watering the plants when she starts to sing along to music in the background. On one verse she happens to sing  little too loud so they Hugh and the songwriter hears her. Hugh then puts her lyric into the song and thinks it works better but the songwriter disagrees then ends up leaving. So Hugh and Drew have to come up with the song and from that point she is rooted in his life.

Hugh and Drew sound surprisingly well even though I’m sure they got some help and the original songs they come up with in the are really good , see for yourself

 

It continues from there and to see the growth from Drew’s character into a real lyricist in addition to see how their relationship blossoms throughout the movie. Its really funny with plenty of dry humor , Hugh is charming usual added with the behind the scenes look music production and you end up having one very unique Rom Com and one of my favorites.

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Prison Murder-for-Hire Plot Foiled by Joanie Pepperoni

(ABC News) A state prison inmate and his girlfriend have been charged in a murder-for-hire plot foiled by an undercover police officer posing as a go-between named Joanie Pepperoni, authorities said.

Laraine Patterson, 54, of Aliquippa, and Gregory Rouzer, 48, were charged Monday with criminal solicitation to commit homicide and conspiracy. Rouzer is an inmate at the State Correctional Institution-Pine Grove, about 50 miles northeast of Pittsburgh.

According to a criminal complaint, the pair wanted to kill Randy Walters, whom Rouzer had targeted before. Rouzer was convicted of shooting Walters in 2008 and trying to have him killed in another foiled murder-for-hire plot in 2009.

After a fellow inmate tipped off police in August, a trooper posed as Ms. Pepperoni and received $1,000 of the agreed-upon $5,000 for the hit from Patterson last month, authorities said.

Online court records don’t list attorneys for the defendants, who face a preliminary hearing Feb. 29. Rouzer remained at the prison in Pine Grove on Tuesday, while Patterson was in the Indiana County jail, unable to post $75,000 bail.

Rouzer is serving 19 years to 60 years in prison for the previous plots on Walters’ life in Fulton County.

He was convicted of attempted murder and other charges for shooting Walters outside a home Walters and his girlfriend shared in Warfordsburg in February 2008.

Rouzer claimed that he had been invited by Walters to go squirrel hunting and that he accidentally shot Walters. The jury sided with prosecutors, who said Rouzer hid behind a shed outside Walters’ home and ambushed him.

Joanie Pepperoni , a fake name not seen since the likes of Ron Mexico and Carlos Danger . How do you trust a person with that name enough to give them money to kill someone? I wouldn’t trust Joanie Pepperoni with bagging my groceries. What other names did the police go through before deciding on Ms. Pepperoni? Tony Spaghetti must have already been used. Maybe Larry Linguini, Mary Mozzarella and Pete Pesto got left off the ballot.

Walters must have really pissed off Rouzer for him to go after him like that but then again he’s in in the pokey for 60 years and he’s 48. He probably figures he doesn’t have much to lose so he is going to get Walters any way he can and kind of have to respect his will but not his execution. He had the element of surprise twice now and screwed it up both times, the next go around he should get a professional instead of Laraine to do some due diligence. I happen to know just the man for the job

 

Adam Levine’s Wicked Cool Tattoo

(Huff Post) The Maroon 5 frontman revealed a newly finished back piece — which was six months in the making (!!!) — on Instagram Monday. The tattoo, done by Bryan Randolph of Spider Murphy’s Tattoo in California, shows a mythological scene with a mermaid in the center; she’s holding a skull in her hands as a ship rides over the waves behind her.

This piece of artwork took 6 months to complete. You can really see how that paid off with the intricate needlework displayed throughout ranging from the clouds above to the waves underneath. The best way to describe this is a mix between Pirates of the Caribbean , the Little Mermaid with Ed Hardy on top to really get it going. Speaking of the mermaid, why does she wings?

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What the Fuck is going with her face? 6 months of work to have a cross eyed broad on your back is a tough pill to swallow. Another thing about the skull

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Why is it bigger than the head of the mermaid?  Who’s head is that a giant? Maybe Poseidon? We’ll never know.  Come Levine, it took 6 months! This is terrible and doesn’t go together at all. He just needed to add some Chinese lettering to make it a hodgepodge of the most popular things people get. The more I look at the face the more it reminds me of this gem hhh.gif

It took 6 months and this was the best comparison I could find, I cant wrap my mind around that. I wonder if his wife made this face when she saw it because its the same one I made.

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Five Reasons Hoverboards are the Worst

This week the Feds issued this alert on hover boards “There is no such thing as a safe hoverboard on the market today. Sorry, friends — regardless of where that lithium ion battery came from, you need to step away from your favorite new mode of transportation.”

Here are my top 5 reasons

  1. The headlights,we get it you’re on hoverboard you don’t need to draw any more attention to yourself Swagway-THUMBNAIL-1.jpg
  2. Where do you store when you go somewhere? Do you just carry it around and sit it next you if you go out to dinner. Seems like a hassle
  3. The face people make when they aren’t sure if they are going to fall or not. The “we oh ohhh oh ok ok ohhh no” face
  4. The spontaneous explosions. What other mode of transportation fails more frequently than hoverboards? None, thats what.
  5. Finally there are NOT Hoverboards , they roll along on the ground. Its a mini segway. Hoverboards don’t have wheels hence the word hover in the name. This is a hoverboard.

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Hopefully this will be enough to start the downfall of the silly overboard. John Drengenberg, the consumer safety director of the Underwriters Laboratories, a research group that ascertains the safety of thousands of products, says, “No hoverboard has passed the certification process at this time.” Haha, no shit John. I see a hoverboard horror story every week on the news. The only good thing about hoverboards are the fail videos

 

The silver lining to all of this is with the overpopulation problem in the world every dumbo that cracks their noggin open falling down helps cull the herd a little bit and makes the world a little bit better for everyone.

Where are the Rockets Now?

As the trade deadline came to a close this afternoon the Rockets roster looked somewhat different but not what many predicted with Dwight Howard still around. The moves they did make were sending out Donatas Motiejunas and Marcus Thornton to the Pistons in exchange for a 1st round pick that is Top 8 protected (if the Pistons get inside the top 8 of the draft the Rockets lose the pick and receive the following year’s pick).  Pretty good haul considering D-Mo has only played 14 games this year. With Thornton on the way out it opens up some minutes for KJ Mcdaniels. He’s a multi tool guy so it will be interesting to see what he can do with the opportunity.

I was stunned to see no one want Dwight Howard though, especially with the season half over and how Dwight has played the last two postseasons. They did receive some interest from a few other teams but the Rockets wanted more in return than what they were getting.

So it wasn’t for want of trying a deal didn’t get done. The Rockets tried to deal with a 25% of the league but ultimately they all fell through because Howard would not want to opt into the final year of the deal , instead becoming a free agent this summer. No team wouldn’t want to give up anything for a rental of Howard just for to him walk in 40 games. You cant blame him either because the cap will be rising this summer thus meaning a bigger deal for him if he waits.  One potential that came out was the Charlotte offer of Al Jefferson and Spencer Hawes for Howard. Not bad but its better than nothing which is exactly what the Rockets will be left with when Dwight walks this summer. Its unfortunate that Harden is so hard to pair with a big man, ultimately it comes down getting a better point guard so Harden can relenquish a lot of the ball handling duties to play more off of the ball. I hope that is where this team is headed. In Dork Elvis we trust…

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Walking Dead Premiere Quick Thoughts

I watched it a second time so I could live take it…

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  1. The charismatic evil biker guy working for Neegan talking a big game right now
  2. What a save , I for sure thought Sasha was getting it—OH SHIT
  3. WHAT HAPPENED?! BazooKA Daryl in the house ! walking-dead-rocket-laucher.gifwalking-dead-bike-explosion.gif xltfqrqbvb2vckorstkp.jpg
  4. “Nibble on that” Abraham says to the severed head of the biker cell 
  5. Man, depressed bowl cut has a had a rough go but he’s such a drag 
  6. Father Gabriel stepping up? Are the tides finally turning for him?
  7. Sam says he can keep going through walkers is laughable, this should end well
  8. I think hate Ron more than Sam, and thats saying a lot. Such a squid 
  9. Edith and Glenn are a really strong combo
  10. Creepy Wolves guy is such a psycho but it looks he really likes his hostage Denise
  11. Glenn Speech! I’m pumped , I’ll fight side by side to the end with you dawg!
  12. Edith is all in after that speech of course 
  13. Gotta give it to him, the Wolves guy plays a creep so fucking well. My skin crawled as he glared at her with those black pools for eyes 
  14. Long commercial break that its night time for Rick and Crew doing the buddy system through walkers. 
  15. Aw Sam is losing it, Carol doomed him. Playing the long game like a boss
  16. Sam has STOPPED. Oh no he’s losing it annnnnnd so long Sam walking-dead-sam-bite.gif
  17. Hot mom stop screaming over your lame son. Aw shit goodbye Hot Mom, should of listened to Rick sooner walking-dead-jessie-gone.gif
  18. WTF Ron, why a point a gun at Rick . 
  19. I wish Michonne would’ve lopped his melon off instead walking-dead-ron-shot.gif
  20. Damn  Carl that’s gonna sting in the morning walking-dead-carl-eye.gif
  21. I can sense it…its coming… the “CorALLL” by Rick. I wonder how many times he will say it
  22. Eugene trying to man up and getting shot down is so emasculating to watch
  23. I wonder if Eugene is a Fop or a Dapper Dan kind of man? That has to be the only answer for how his mullet stays so on point during the zombie apacolpsye. 
  24. Aw Wolves guy going back for her, he changed. Chop his arm off daisy! 
  25. Carol Vs. Morgan…who’s side to take?!
  26. Carol’s of course carol-morgan
  27. Daisy flashing the bedroom eyes at her former captor 
  28. Carol from the top ropes! She snipes the Wolves guy
  29. Daisy shook that off quick when she saw CorALLLL coming in not looking to great doing his best Fetty Wap impersonation 
  30. OH YES, Rick has flipped the Savage switch. No one goes as hard as Rick does when  gets into his zone
  31. Where does Rick get all this energy from? He’s truly the chosen one
  32. Michonne right behind him. When are Rick and Michonne going together? Power couple like you read about
  33. Rick is destroying so many walkers he is inspiring everyone to come out and go nuts
  34. Father Gabriel has turned it around. He’s seeing the light. Good Job Carver father-gabriel-redeemed.jpg
  35. Glen and Maggie are so ride or die for each other
  36. Oh nO Glenn , not again. Maggie’s screams break my heart 
  37. WHOA! Abraham doing his best Daryl impression  coming out of nowhere with the assault rifle to save Glenn from certain peril (good joke writers) 
  38. Abraham has had the best one liners this episode and he’s nailing them abraham-pal
  39. Daryl always has a plan 
  40. How did so many walkers gather together so densely like this? Did they all come from a Kelly Clarkson concert back in 09 at the Georgia State Fair? I guess we may never know
  41. Man, the bazooka is really a game changer 
  42. The hacking montage was really good walking-dead-kill-montage
  43. All it took was three “CorALL” ‘s by Rick to bring Carl out of his coma .

Royal Caribbean Cruise Ship knowingly sailed into Hurricane

 

(DailyMail)

  • Sen. Bill Nelson called for investigation into a Royal Caribbean cruise after it sailed into a predicted storm
  • The Anthem of the Seas ship said winds were more extreme than expected despite knowing about them in advance
  • A meteorologist said what the cruise did was ‘no different than purposely sailing into a category one hurricane’
  • The storm forced 4,529 passengers and 1,616 crew on board to be locked down in their cabins for hours
  • Yesterday Royal Caribbean announced it would cancel the rest of the trip and head back to New Jersey  

Royal Caribbean could be in hot water after it knowingly let one of its largest cruise ships sail into a storm with category one hurricane-like strength, which forced passengers into more than ten hours of lock down.

Florida Senator Bill Nelson asked why the ship would continue right into the path of the ferocious storm that had been predicted at least four days on February 3, before the cruise encountered it.

Senator Nelson called for the National Transportation Safety Board to investigate the Anthem of the Seas voyage, which fought through waves as high as 30 feet and winds of approximately 150mph.

‘The thing about this storm was that it was forecast for days.

‘So why in the world would a cruise ship with thousands of passengers go sailing right into it?’ Nelson said on the Senate floor on Monday.

Royal Caribbean said in a statement the ship experienced ‘extreme wind and sea conditions’ that were not expected.

Captain Claus Andre Anderson and cruise director Abe Hughes posted a video to YouTube yesterday saying the storm was much more intense than originally predicted.

‘I have never seen a low-pressure (storm) that was not forecast anything near like what we experienced.

‘It developed so quickly. And that’s the thing, it just became so intensified in eight or nine hours. It goes from being nothing to a full-blown storm,’ Captain Anderson said in the video.

Ryan Maue, a digital meteorologist for WeatherBell Analytics, told NJ.com he couldn’t believe that was true.

‘The storm was well forecast by many different weather models from every agency.

‘This situation is no different in practice to purposely sailing a vessel into the path of a rapidly developing Category one or two hurricane.

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Cruises are the worst , and this is just another page in the book why. First you are trapped at sea with hopefully a competent captain and crew. Secondly you are surrounded by thousands of strangers, most them being senior citizens which sounds awful. Heaven forbid if one those people get sick and spread a virus throughout the ship which.  Thirdly a cruise ship is basically a hotel and who wants to be stuck in a hotel their whole vacation where the view is the ocean and maybe some wildlife if you’re lucky.

David Foster Wallace put it beautifully when he said “There’s something about a mass-market luxury cruise,” he writes, “that’s unbearably sad. Like most unbearably sad things it seems incredibly elusive and complex in its causes yet simple in its effect: On board the Nadir (especially at night when all the ship’s structured fun and reassurances and gaieties ceased) I felt despair.” Despair, thats exactly what cruise ships evoke in me and many others.

If you don’t believe me just take a look at CruiseShipDeaths and Carnival cruise line’s guest review page  . This could of been much worse for Royal Caribbean , all and all only some broken glass to be swept , tables flipped back over so it wasn’t that bad. But look how close it was to being horrific, seriously cruises suck. You will probably die if you go on one, and get diarrhea. Or at least one of those.

Speaking of diarrhea do you remember the Carnival cruise that lost power, caught fire in the Gulf of Mexico and had to be towed back to port over 4 days.  It was dubbed the ‘Poop Cruise‘ One of the Passengers said  “It was a horrible experience,” testified Michelle Key, 48, who went on the cruise with her mother, Fleda Key, 68. “I walked through water and feces and urine, no telling what else,” she testified. “We would slip and slide through greasy, gross, slippery muck,” she said, adding “it was very difficult” for her mother. Fleda Key described having terrible diarrhea on numerous occasions and having difficulty finding any toilets that were not overflowing. Christ thats terrible and they had to eat onion sandwiches on top of that. So don’t go on cruise or you’re gonna have a bad time. The only way to do a cruise is if you get a Diddy yacht so its just you and your crew other than that no thanks I’ll stick on dry land.

PS.

This how I imagined the first guest disembarking from the Poop Cruise

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Adam Silver thinks the NBA will change the “Hack-a-Shaq” Rule this Offseason

(USA Today) NBA Commissioner Adam Silver’s evolving opinion of Hack-A-Player indicates there may be changes to the increasingly practiced and increasingly reviled strategy.

After months of media debate, putrid foul shooting, lengthy games and fan discontent, Silver told USA TODAY Sports in an NBA A to Z podcast that, “I’m increasingly of the view that we will be looking to make some sort of change in that rule this summer.”

Long neutral on Hack-A-Player – the strategy of fouling a poor free throw shooter away from the basketball in an attempt to limit an opponent’s scoring – Silver is taking a side.

“Even for those who had not wanted to make the change, we’re being forced to that position just based on these sophisticated coaches understandably using every tactic available to them,” Silver said. “It’s just not the way we want to see the game played.”

Hack-A-Player is up this year. The number of those intentional fouls through mid-December surpassed the number of times it happened last season (164), and the league is closing in on 300 Hack-A-Player instances before the All-Star break.

Through Tuesday’s games, fouls against Los Angeles Clippers center DeAndre Jordan, Detroit Pistons center Andre Drummond and Houston Rockets Dwight Howard have accounted for 69% of Hack-A-Player fouls. Jordan accounts for 34%.

Silver knows the data. But the interaction with fans as he watches a game has made an impact, too.

“Again, as I travel around the league, there’s that one school of thought ‘Guys have got to make their free throws,’ ” Silver said. “But then at the end of the day, we are an entertainment property, and it’s clear that when you’re in the arena, that fans are looking at me, shrugging their shoulders with that look saying, ‘Aren’t you going to do something about this?’ ”

Basketball is a game of flow, rhythm and pace. Multiple intentional fouls interrupt that unique style, and the game becomes an eyesore, such as the Jan. 20 game in which Detroit’s Andre Drummond shot 36 fouls shots.

“Because more and more teams are doing it to more and more players, there is an absolute necessity to get this right,” ESPN/ABC analyst Jeff Van Gundy told USA TODAY Sports. “And it’s not for the individual players. It’s not even for the teams. It’s for the fans, because I see this escalating more and more.”

NBA data through Tuesday’s games reveals that teams use the Hack-a-Player strategy more often when trailing (68 times) than when winning (21 times). But teams have won 16% of the time using the strategy when trailing but 61% of the time when using the strategy while ahead.

From a pure data standpoint, the strategy is sound way to keep a team from piling up points. Avid NBA observer and data cruncher, Haralabos Voulgaris, said on Twitter recently that teams using Hack-A-Player allow .82 points per possession – which is better than NBA-best .951 points allowed per possession by the San Antonio Spurs.
The rumblings have been growing since more teams have adopted the Hack-a-Shaq in recent seasons. Because it breaks up the flow of the game and basketball is very much a fluid game like soccer is. So when that gets interrupted more often than not the product suffers. I get why they want to do it, but I just cannot fully get behind it.

To change the rules of the game because three guys can’t make their free throws?! Andre Drummond, Dwight Howard and DeAndre Jordan make up for almost a third of all Hack-a-Shaq fouls. The reason its happening more because the data backs it up, this season teams that were leading then started fouling won 61% of the time. But I do not want to see the game changed because a handful of guys can’t make free throws.

The funny thing is that most teams who use it do so when they are down and lose the game most of the time. Defense still wins Championships ,with Shaq it was used because he was so dominant and nobody could defend him, now it’s because these guys are just so woeful at shooting freebies that even the best defenses of all time pale in comparison to what the Hack-a-Shack does to teams. Haralabos Voulgaris broke down the numbers that said recently that teams using Hack-A-Player allow .82 points per possession – which is better than NBA-best .951 points allowed per possession by the San Antonio Spurs. So it only makes sense to use it when you are in the right situation.

With that said, the NBA is an entertainment league, so the only valid argument I see against it is the fact that it makes games boring. That’s a legitimate reason to change it, because the NBA is about entertainment first and foremost. If the league isn’t losing money aka ratings why would they implement such a sweeping change?

One of the better compromises I have seen with the rule change is from Tom Ziller Allow the team fouled to the opting of shoot the free throws or taking the ball out of bounds, which would essentially eliminate the strategy. Has there ever been a rule change in the NBA because only some players were bad at something ? I don’t think so and it shouldn’t start now. Plus you wouldn’t get funny moments like this

Overlooked Movie of the Week: Goon

Goon is about Sean William Scott who’s been labeled an outcast by his brainy family, he works as a bouncer but doesn’t really know what to do. So one night his childhood friend Jay brings him to a minor league hockey game, when an enforcer on the visiting team comes into the stands and gets into with Sean who proceeds to knock him the fuck out.

As a result of that he gets a tryout with the local team and makes it despite not being able to shoot or skate very well. He’s strictly out there as an enforcer.  He does so well in his new role he gets called up to the Halifax farm team, one step below the NHL to protect a young star player.

Goon plays like part Rocky and part Bad News Bears but with much more violence, and very colorful language. While being violent and crude Goon still manages to have a lot of heart throughout. You will be cracking up from the one liners , saying “OH SHIT!” from the knockouts and maybe even shedding a tear along they way you heartless bitch. If that sounds like your kind of movie don’t wait any longer and pull it up on Netflix.

 

 

Wise woman demands LIFETIME supply of Kit Kat after buying one with no wafers + My top 5 Candy Bars

(DailyMail)

-Saima Ahmad bought a $4-multipack and none of the bars had wafer inside
-Law student, 20, wrote to Nestle demanding a lifetime supply of chocolate
-Claims they breached duty of care to customers and threatens legal action
-Writes: ‘If I wanted pure chocolate, I would have bought a bar of Galaxy’

Here’s the statement Ahmad made about her current battle with Nestle:

‘They go about advertising the unique concept of KitKat, but I’m so disappointed by what I have purchased.

‘I’m hoping they will apologize to me and in future focus more on quality of their product.

‘No one else in that industry has that unique concept about mixing the wafer with the chocolate and that’s why I’m a fan.’

‘I have also lost my faith in Nestle.

‘Clearly, if I wanted to purchase a confectionary item that is purely chocolate, I would have purchased a bar of Galaxy.

‘I would therefore like to request a life-long supply of KitKat so that I can act as a means of quality control — it appears you need me more than I need you.’

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Talk about a punch to the gut, there you are thinking you are about to bite into some delicious chocolate covered crisp wafers then BAM its solid chocolate. Had to be so disheartening so I can totally understand asking for a lifetime supply of them in return to make up for the mistake. Some might say get over it , move on already but you don’t get anything if you don’t ask so I will not knock Saima’s hustle on this. Instead I will applaud it. “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss you’ll land among the stars”. Its a classic negotiation tactic, you ask for more than what you want so if you have to settle for less it won’t be that bad. Maybe Saima gets lucky this will get enough traction and she will get a year free or a huge novelty Kit Kat.

Seeing this story got me thinking if I had to choose one chocolate bar to have a lifetime supply what would it be? Here are my top 5 chocolate bars

5. Baby Ruth

 

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Almost like a Snickers light but with more peanuts, sometimes too many. Good candy but not as balanced as the top 4 hence its spot. Nothing to be ashamed of Baby Ruth.

4. Twix

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The unique mix of cookie, chocolate and caramel is so distinctive and no other candy can do this combo better than a Twix.

3. Reese’s Fast Break

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The newest bar on the list is a great one and makes you wonder why it wasn’t done sooner. Reese’s Fast Break has a milk chocolate coating over a peanut butter filling. Along with layer of rich nougat beneath the peanut butter. This one may jump higher down the road but its testament to the quality of the candy that is already this high on the list in such a short time.

2. Snickers

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One of the all time classic right here. In a similar way to the Twix there is no mistaking a Snickers because the way they own that caramel/nougat/peanut/chocolate combo.

  1. Kit Kat

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This should come as no surprise because Kit Kats are simply put the best chocolate candy bar ever created. The thing that separates it from its peers is the great crunch and flavor you get with every bite but it will slow you down like the heavier chocolate bars. Its better to leave you wanting more than giving you too much. Kit Kat checks all the boxes and is the quintessential candy bar of America.